I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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