Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
If i come over, it means nothing
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
