but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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