Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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