Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize