Capitaan dildo arrescate!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Everyone says I win the strip club
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
