I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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