how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
