low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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