He uses pillows to masturbate.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I understand Curling. That high.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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