Will you blow on my dice?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
