I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
