dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
