I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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