I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
