Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
