the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
