I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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