All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
