Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize