Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
