And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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