I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
