But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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