Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
