If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Randomize
