no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
