Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
God I need to hump something, right now.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
