margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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