I bet he comes in French.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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