she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
