Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
