I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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