i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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