You're a womanizer and a bitch.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize