Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sobbing to NWA
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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