I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
