Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
