this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
