do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Randomize
