i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
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