We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
And my parents said I crawled through the house
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
