I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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