Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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