i jhust puked up my retainher.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
pop tarts are not kleenex
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
