fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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