i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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