...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize