"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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