i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
my poor anus
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
