they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
