that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
