can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
