I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize