Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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