I want to walk on stilts...naked
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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