This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize