Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
