i was born a porn star she said
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
