I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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