I don't usually arrange sex via text message
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
